The self that typically serves us best is regulated through our parasympathetic nervous system. That is when our prefrontal cortex – our thinking mind – runs the show. In this state, we’re capable of making choices logically and reflectively, and we tend to feel in reasonable control of our destiny.

Our second self is regulated by our sympathetic nervous system. The amygdala – a more primitive part of the brain — takes charge. This self is characterized by fight or flight. It takes over reactively and automatically when we’re feeling a sense of vulnerability and threat, most commonly to our sense of value and worthiness rather than to our actual survival.

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